It’s the 9th! So soon! Listen, neither of us tolerate change well. Change makes us crabby. And what’s been going on for us this year? Basically nothing but change. Going back to school, new office space, new internship, new apartment, so on and so forth. Change change change change change. Crabby crabby crabby crabby crabby. (We are aware that we asked for and enacted almost all of this change, but it still makes us crabby to be in flux.) So, we figured we should probably write about the things we hate for Nine on the 9th this month. Enjoy!
1. Rachel hates grass/sod. HATES it. One day we took a walk and Rachel just started yelling about all the grass in the neighborhood. She’s already a grumpy old grandpa. She is of the opinion that grass is a complete waste of space and resources and there are much better ground cover options out there. (Go ahead. Ask her how she feels and see what happens.)
2. As we mentioned in our belated Facts on a Date post, Kristl hates being tickled. She has been known to turn into an aggressive ninja when tickled. Rachel hasn’t quite learned this (or thinks it’s amusing), and has therefore sustained many an injury from trying to tickle Kristl. In fact, Kristl hates being tickled so much, that when she was in school she often requested to be in a group of three for point location class so that she wouldn’t have to be touched (also, it sucked to have her as a point location model, as she squirmed and screamed and flailed so much it was nearly impossible to find the points accurately).
3. We both hate humidity and would much rather be cold than hot and sweaty. This year’s Dyke March happened to fall on a very hot and humid day, and as soon as we arrived we turned to each other and lamented about how we missed the polar vortex. Thankfully this summer has been really mild thus far!
4. Rachel hates clammy hands. Kristl’s hands are perpetually clammy. For the first few months of dating Rachel stalwartly held Kristl’s hand without any indication that it made her feel gross. She finally mentioned it and now Kristl will make a point of holding Rachel’s hand if she’s having an exceptionally clammy day. Perhaps it’s to get back at Rachel for all the damn tickling.
5. Kristl hates cake (most of the time). This is especially odd because she loves baking and bakes a damn good cake, she just won’t eat it. She doesn’t particularly like the texture, the frosting/cake ratio is usually off, and it’s usually too sweet. She’d much rather have something fruity and baked (pie, cobbler, buckles). Or ice cream. Or brownies. Or cookies. Basically any sweet treat other than cake. BOO CAKE.
6. We both hate shoes, though Kristl hates them more than Rachel (probably because she grew up in Hawai’i and wore rubber slippers for most of her formative years). We both have rather problematic feet and shoes tend to aggravate those problems more than sandals do. Kristl will wear sandals well into winter, even if there’s snow on the ground. At this point, we should probably buy stock in Birkenstock as we usually have about 8-9 pairs hanging around our house at any given time.
7. Rachel hates not being able to hear. When we got married, poor Rachel had a double ear infection and a sinus infection. After a day of being unable to hear, she started to feel like she was going crazy and was willing to do almost anything to make it better. She was in pain and couldn’t hear completely out of her right ear for a month after. Her new life goal is to avoid ever losing her hearing again.
8. Kristl hates most floral smells, especially roses and lavender. The other day she saw some beautiful roses, unconsciously leaned in to smell them, and immediately gagged. Rachel just looked at her like, “Why did you smell it, you dumbass?” Kristl especially hates floral flavors in food – it all tastes soapy to her, even if you think there’s “just a little” in there.
9. Adding on to that last one, we both hate artificial fragrances and the smell of chemical cleaners, even things like Febreze, that are supposed to “remove” odors. This may actually be less of a “hate” situation and more of an allergy one. There have been times we’ve actually had to leave places with strong smells because one or both of us was coughing, sneezing, and unable to breathe.
Well, that’s that. There are more things that we hate (Kristl more so than Rachel, if we’re being honest), but we’re going to stop at nine. Also, we’re actually trying to use the word “hate” less and focus on more positive things in our lives. So if you catch us bitching about things from here on out, you have permission to call us out on it.